ICC Football Club

Guest: 1019




Date:	07 June 2009
Name:	Brizo (bluejackett@bluejackett.com)
Location:	House
Referral:	Word of mouth
Comments: lads anyone missing a blue jackett that i picked up at my table by accident on Sat night. I was sitting just the door on the right hand side as you come in. Give me a shout if it belongs to someone




Guest: 1018


Date:	28 May 2009
Name:	hector brocklebank
Web site:	http://www.moregoalsthanbookings.com
Location:	in a foxy time bingo hall
Comments: Looking forward to Saturday lads. Lets finish the season in style, celebrating another ICC win, trophy presentation then getin full of champers and stella. Wooofft, ye cany beat it. The braehead tavern better be getin ready for some afternoon shenanigans. MORE MORE MORE, HOW DE YE LIKE IT, HOW DE YE LIKE IT! What odds on the Blooter getin asked to leave before the cup final kicks aff or for Dougal comin up wi some new patter that isny actually total ***** and sticks in our heads for weeks?




Guest: 1017


Date:	28 May 2009
Name:	Chronical Chief Reporter
Web site:	www.NAW.com
Location:	Safari Jungle (also known as East Kilbride beat)
Comments: The Chronical managed to track down an always busy Jumanji Wilson at the launch of the new NAW's (Nike Air Wilsons) at JJB in Braehead to see if we could get to know the softer side of the ICC hardman with the upcoming presentation evening looming and his general thoughts on a successful championship campaign. "Personally for me I've really enjoyed this season, its been a rollercoaster ride but I wouldnt have any other way," stated the youthful 30 something. "I thought I was doomed when the room arrangements for Newcastle were announced but a couple of handshakes later from Mr T meant I knew I had landed in the right room, plus it gave me my chance to plead my case for goal of the season to the management. Being the elder statesman of the team people were concerned I might not keep the pace with the more handsome, talented members of the squad but I held out just fine," commented Jim as he slid tackled the store manager for a second time for not bringing him some juice. "I've filled a number of roles this season but im just happy to play, as long as there's an opponent close by that I can nail im quite happy. Im especially pleased with the Jumanji name and im pretty sure the Rhino thing comes from my style of play as opposed to the noise's I make when Im sleeping." The chronical's interview was momentarily interupted as a now single Katie Price stepped out to model the new NAW's. "Im a big fan of the NAW range plus Jumanji promised to take me for a Babysham after this so I couldnt say no," stated the former glamour model. "I cant wait for presentation night, im bringing along the WAG, unless Kaite here makes me an offer I cant refuse, she said with her air bags she could handle my tackle no bother." And with a big grin on his face Jumanji strolled backstage after yet another memorable ICC event. More soon as we get a day closer to the big spectacle.............




Guest: 1016


Date:	28 May 2009
Name:	Chronical Chief Reporter
Web site:	www.GSG4Life.com
Location:	Space
Comments: Welcome sports fans, and as promised in the build up to thee social event of the year, the Chronical has been out and about tracking down the superstars of ICC to grab and exclusive interview on their thoughts on all things football. In the first of a series of exclusives we grabbed Ally McLements half way up a ladder with alarm in hand to give us his forthright views, "Well as usual the mighty ICC have done it again, am pure chuffed coz its been a long hard season and now I can enjoy a few beers on a Fri night which I never do through the season. Ma missus is looking forward to promoting her WAG status at the presentation night, me and Mr T will be celebrating a double of course, av been down to Slaters so they can sort me oot one of those Union Jack suits, like the one my fellow GSG member Geri Halliwell wore during the Spice Girls thingy. On a personal note its been a mixed season, a mean the handle bar incident in Millport was almost a near death experience but av enjoyed playing again and getting right up the green supporting half of the team, a mean am no sectarian but get it right up them eh. Ma only downer this season is a keep getting called McLements, its doing ma heid right in, ma name is McLemman, a might try some Jedi mind tricks on big Dunc. A know we've been told to bring a prize for the raffle as well and the missus said I should donate ma Xbox but theres nae chance of that happening, I woodnae be able to fill the 314 spare hours during the week id have, so I'll maybe just donate ma collection of wookie dolls or something. My highlight of the season wis the wrestling in Newcastle, am quite fond of it and it was a proper royal rumble. Canny wait for presentation night, bring it on. Im sure you'll agree a quite revealing interview and more to come from your favourtie weekly ICC media publication soon sports fans...........




Guest: 1015


Date:	26 May 2009
Name:	ally (icc@rangers.com)
Location:	celebration chamber
Referral:	Word of mouth
Comments: congratulations icc champions rangers champions carlsberg do weekends yas woody ,weirdo , bovell a long dark summer approches enjoy




Guest: 1014


Date:	21 May 2009
Name:	Mr T
Location:	Work
Comments: Due to a few requests at training the other night.. here is the full list of goals scoreres this season and their tally's so far. David Thomson - 32 Ally Lindsay - 21 Craig Thomas - 17 Ross Dougal - 16 Chis Woodcock - 14 Dougie Gould - 9 Alan Black - 7 David Weir - 7 Fraser Buchan - 6 Craig Gibson - 6 Ross Williams - 6 Ally Mclemen - 5 Iain Mclelland - 4 Barry Connel - 2 Andrew MacLean - 1 Jim Wilson - 1 Championees.




Guest: 1013


Date:	20 May 2009
Name:	Chronical Cheif Reporter/League Winner
Web site:	http://www.7trophiesin5years.com/PresentationNightWillBeABelter
Location:	Reflection Chamber
Comments: SEASON 2008/2009 As I sit in this mirrored reflection chamber, I felt compelled to reflect on another glorious season in the history of the Mighty - officially League Champions 2008/2009. Here is the Chronicals take on another whirlwind rollercoaster of a season. The bold Hector kicked things off with his OK! Magazine deal to cover his wedding to the often tormented Lisa. 8 months on the things are still peachy in the plush Paisley palace, despite the bold Hec's thong antics. The season kicked off with pre-season camp at Tulliallan, and who could forget Ally McLements outrageous time keeping on the Sunday morning, much to the displeasure of an ageing management team who were keen to make an impression on the new league. The unveiling of an Orange/Blue away kit did not sit well with senior squad member David Weir, Ross Walliams appeared in a swimsuit for the first time and Ross Dougal completed the most miserable half round of golf known to man. The highlight of Tulliallan for the squad was undoubtedbly the unveiling of latest signing - codename Batesy. The (bizarrely) proud Fifer, goalkeeper John Lessells confirmed wedding plans and subsequently broke the heart of Dougie Gould, who took a couple of weeks to recover in terms of performance as the Mighty began the season with a dismal 1-0 defeat before finding their feet - not the start management were looking for. An early exit from the Scottish Cup and defeat in the quarter finals of the league cup left concentration solely on League business, to which ICC went on an undeafeated run in 2008 after the intial blurp, with Alan Black standing out due to an early flourish of goals - prompting what now seems like a fatal bet with business man/midfielder Ross Dougall over the amount of goals he would notch during the season. Late November seen the return of Woodcock from a career threatening ankle injury, a hat trick againt Antonine capping a triumphant return, whilst Ally Lindsay also got off the mark in the quest to defend his Top Goalscorer crown. Rumours circulated in late December and the Chronical publsihed an exclusive claiming Gaffer Dunc McLean was considering his future following the squad backlash from his "£2 fine for missing training" statement, as well as the emergence of No.2 Mr T who was beginning to show signs that he was ready to step into the lead Management role. The ICC Board of Directors were also rumoured to be considering the appointment of an international manager to freshen things up, namely Ian Shaw. An influx of foreign investment allowed the club to appointment Mr Weir as assistant technical director to Mr Black with ICC heading into 2009 in good shape. A somewhat fragmented Christmas night out so the superstars of ICC enjoy a civilised meal in town before disappointly going their seperate ways to various nightspots in town, with no major incidents reported - the sign of an ageing squad - the one highlight being the performance of new squad member Batesy - who was ceremouniesly dragged home by management much to the amusement and applause of the squad. 2009 kicked on from where 2008 left off, some miserable playing conditions but and undeafeated record upheld, with club captain Gary Barlow moving to a plush new Shawlands residence after signing an improved contract, as did front runner for Top Goalscorer David Thomson, due to move in shortly. February saw the annual ICC quiz take place and a terrific display from Mrs Black, cementing her place as an intergral WAG and hosting an after party to be proud of, whilst ex-manager Patto Paterson secured 4 new wheels thanks to a couple of funny handshakes. ICC pushed on in their quest for the league title, Mr T pulling the strings furing a short role as No.1 whislt the squad took part in the annual cycle fundraiser - at which Hector produced another magical thong display and Ally McLements suffered a near fatal biking accident when his handle bars snapped off his bike - much to the delight of every other team in the league. Lucozade paid a visit in March and ICC legends of old returned for a one off training special - the bold Shambles even managing to secure some digits. 'Rhino' Jim Wilson notched a goal of the season contender and subsequently marketed the latest ICC merhcandise NAWS (Nike Air Wilsons) whilst the global franchise that is ICC released their first ICC Ringtone - bringing in another £3.50 to the club funds. April saw Dougie Goulds heart firmly broken as the bold Lessells set off for Sri Lanka on honeymoon - subsequently pushing himself to 6th choice goalie behind Dom, Batesys Mate, Davy Weir, Jim Wilson and Jim Wilsons Mate. Top goalscorer Davy T hit Mexico and subsequently contracted swine flu (at least thats what he told his employers as he enjoyed an extra week off work). Entering May ICC were in prime position - the rumours of an Ian Shaw take over would not disappear however and certain confusion amongst the squad as to how many games were left did not ease unrest - especially with managments refusal to answer such questions. Newcastle was the tour destination in May - thnakfully no arrests although a handful of supporters did cause some aggrevation which resulted in the squad being ejected from some public houses. Several moments of genius were captured on camera, whilst Basher Connell set a new precedent for partying - partly down to a bullet header from outside the box scored the previous week as ICC cemented top spot in Div. 3. And so the league was wrapped up with 2 games to spare and preparations for the social event of the year are underway, the Chronical will be grabbing exclusive interviews with some star players over the next few weeks to gauge their views on another remarkable season for ICC.........




Guest: 1012


Date:	15 May 2009
Name:	Chronical Chief Reporter
Web site:	www.££.com
Location:	Live Pitchside
Comments: I come to you live from pitchside at fotress KG5 as preparations push on for a potentially explosive weekend in the title race. On the back of another successful tour and having had some personal feedback, the Chronical can exclusively reveal that several members of the first team party have spent this week seeking personal sponsorship deals in order to recoup some of the finances that went missing in Newcastle. A leaked fax picked up from management headquarters detailed some of the potential endorsement deals that have already been lined up: ENDEMOL UK (Big Brother, Deal or No Deal) have approached the ever smiling Alan 'Hector' Black to present his own game show, involving Monkey Cradles in Bubbles trying to score points hitting yellow drums up the Braes whilst high heels hang from trees. Sounds like a winner. KODAK have indeed signed up Mr T to launch there new instant camera, citing his impeccable camera timing as the reason for choosing him to spearhead the campaign. Match.Com have begun negotiations with midfielder Ross Dougal over a TV advert stint, citing the fact that he is the perfect role model following his so called "pulling spree", and that he ties in perfectly with their motto "Literally anyone can find love.........." Bennets (Glasgow) have approached the agent of frontman Alistair Lindsay over a potential poster campaign for the alternative clubbing nightspot, following up recent reports of him leading the team away from every known pub/club that contained women within the Newcastle and Greater Tyne area. Rumours that Alan Black has already offered a thong for the photo shoot are as yet unconfirmed. KLEENEX MENS TISSUES (PLC) have approached an unknown member of the squad. They did release a staement to the press howvere, stating "All we're saying is he's agreed and his free year's supply are being put to good use". UNIVERSAL STUDIOS (USA) have approached Alistair McLements about starring in his own blockbuster sci-fi movie, to be directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Kirk Broadfoot as "Captain Kirk", the only information the Chronical could uncover was that the project is titled America In Space: How Rangers Blew the League. SLATERS MENSWEAR (Ltd) have sensationally pulled the plug on an endoresement deal with ex-player Brian Bovell after the fleet footed one sensationally kept the suit jacket in the bag over the weekend, a serious faux pas with so much papparazzi following the squad. WWE ENTERTAINMENT have indeed agreed a rolling contract with Jim 'Rhino' Wilson after uncovering footage of the war horse getting involved in some late night wrestling. As yet his character name has yet been revealed although online bookies have already ruled out the previously Trademarked "Tank". Having saw his previous deal with Subway (Ltd), club captain Gary Barlow has sensationally agreed a new 2 year deal with bed manufacturers MFI, proving it really is possible to sleep anywhere. ICC Management have agreed to all deals in principle, subject to image rights being retained by the club. More soon sports fans.................




Guest: 1011


Date:	12 May 2009
Name:	G Barlow
Web site:	http://www.gbarlow.net/producing
Location:	Stand-up Sleeping Academy
Comments: Gents. Great weekend had by all - sets us up nicely for our remaining three fixtures. And we have the social event of the football calender to come.... Lets do it. GB Experience.




Guest: 1010


Date:	12 May 2009
Name:	The Chronical (tookmeforever@anythingforalaugh.com)
Web site:	www.keepintouchwithyourself.com/akabussi
Location:	The Office
Referral:	Newspaper
Comments: Newcastle Special! This week’s Chronical delivers a hard hitting insight and report from the weekend’s Newcastle extravaganza! From the highs to the lows The Chronical will not be shy in delivering its verdict on the weekend’s events and where the social future of some of ICC’s Galacticos rest. As ICC expanded their ever growing reputation round the globe with Supporters’ Associations due to open branches shortly in York, Antrim and Hamilton to name but a few. The weekend was full of scandal, some of which has been watered down (literally from Mikey) to address the full spectrum of our audience for which promises to be the most anticipated release of The Chronical to date. The ICC book of Patter, Banter and Craic was given a run out as the full repartee was unleashed to tremendous effect. Read on my friends, but proceed with care. Player by Player Ratings: Barry Connell (9 out of 10) ‘Basher’ had a few hairy moments while making his debut on an ICC Tour, but ultimately passed with flying colours! Educated at the same Alcohol Abuse School as his pal Hector, you can definitely take the boy out of Paisley …………. Being refused service in the Skiff Inn at 1800 on Saturday Afternoon was a real low point but he bounced back tremendously with some serious performances in the social arena especially Tiger Tiger and ICC’s favourite Tyneside hotspot that is Blu Bamboo. Not shy of a pint or fifty the bold Barry held his own and was a more than worthy winner of the Player of the Tournament Award. A sore napper this morning however is a definite, but Blooter Brains can be more than proud of his shift this weekend with the popular chap due for some more adulation from his team mates following his spectacular header in last week’s midweek fixture against Kelvinbridge. Alan Black – 9 Having made his debut on tour 2 years ago, Brocklebank gave himself a real hard act to follow. The Boozebag didn’t disappoint and even excelled on some occasions with some tremendous patter, even if some of it was lost in translation. The favourite Mankini made it’s usual appearance but it was during Saturday afternoon’s session post Old Firm that Hector really captured the imagination with him revealing the contents of his dreams …………………… Dougall up the Braes dressed as Mr Blobby anyone? The stuff of Genius from the man who wants to relaunch the Crystal Maze with Ally McLeman taking over from Richard O’Brien as host ………………… truly great material from one of Paisley’s finest. He saved his favourite clobber form Saturday night’s outing as he appeared dressed as an extra from the hit film ‘This is England.’ Michael McLean – 8 The proprietor of the newly announced club sponsor Scot Bailie Cars Michael McLean was at his evil best over the course with some genius moves and incidents that would shame even Joey Barton. Given a £60.00 fine and 3 points on his license for urinating in the street was quite a rib tickler; however he really came to the fore with his prominence in the 5am wrestling matches, showing an unique blend of moves from the outrageous to the downright dangerous that we have come to expect from our favourite WWE Superstars. Down in Alabama …………………………… Good effort! Andrew McLean – 8 Making his debut on tour and the youngest member of the touring party, it was a stable if unspectacular first outing from ICC’s answer to the Roadrunner …………………… beep beep! The youngster lead the way with the ladies (in the weight categories certainly) and put Friday’s negative experience behind him to produce again on Saturday evening. Being bench pressed by a girl you’ve just exchanged saliva with could be off putting for some but young Batesy powered through it, shrugged his shoulders and insisted ‘It’s all part of the process’. The youngster’s efforts over the weekend were highly valued by the rest of the squad and passed with flying colours – well played young man! Now with the forearm suitably rested, Batesy can look forward to his new employment which began immediately after the return from the weekend. David Thomson Senior – 8 If anyone was in the wrong place and the wrong time it was this man, snapped with several beauties, albeit to hold a door or lift a fellow reveller from the floor, each picture speaks a thousand words! ICC’s number 2 was in fine form, with glowing cheeks and the Morgans flowing he continually put in a shift and even when struggling from the effects he pushed on. Mr T may have decided to call time on his touring days with The Mighty and we anticipate a statement to this effect from his agent shortly and will be sorely missed but no doubt he has left his legacy on stars of the future that will be appearing on an ICC Tour near you! There you go big man, just read that to Agnes and you’re laughing! ;-) * We here at The Chronical are aware that the previous statement is strictly not the truth (far from it) but we feel that we need to protect the party concerned as the Mr T for Gaffer campaign gathers pace * Andrew Thomson – 8 Anyone who tours with The Mighty and ends up in a gay bar has to be questioned and had it happened to any other member of the squad it probably would’ve been. With Shambles however anything is possible and the unexpected really does happen. An excellent effort from The Strength and Conditioning Expert who managed to avoid any press ups from The Mine Game. Another keen Wrestler, Shamboilc.net was seen beating off the beauties with a stick insisting that he wasn’t interested ………………. Maybe the outing to the gay bar will reveal more than anticipated. Always a contender for The Last Man Standing gong he didn’t disappoint and again proved his worth and experience. A terrific showing from a popular member of the team and kept up the record shared between himself and Patto for more showings at nights out than training sessions! Duncan Mclean – 7 A good showing from The Gaffer who having endured ‘a good bucket’ on Friday night showed signs of weakness Saturday am with several Fresh Orange and Lemonades but as with other members showed some real prowess by gathering himself together and even decorating the dance floor in Bamboo with moves that John Travolta himself would’ve been proud of. He credited his resurgence to an afternoon power nap from which he revealed the following: ‘I, Rhino and Mr T all had some shut eye after our romantic table for 3 at Frankie and Benny’s on Saturday afternoon. It was lovely, it really was. Jim was so thoughtful, he downloaded some of our favourite nursery rhymes to his mobile and we all just fell asleep caressing each other in our arms.’ When asked if he would be following Mr T into tour time retirement he aggressively responded ‘Aye right pal and leave ma boy wi that lot, yer kidding?’ Ross Dougall – 7 Following on from some extensive and unmerited abuse from The Chronical and Team mates alike, Dougall responded well to the criticism regarding his recent eye contact activities. Even with the line from GB’s tour song ringing in his ears he proved to be some what of a dark horse. Keen to continue these feats back home in the Frew expect more to come from midfield man. Very much a victim in the early hours wrestling fiasco which prompted security to be called he struggled to emerge from his Renfrew residence to attend work before 12 noon. This went down like a led balloon, however a few stories and a cheeky smile later all was forgiven as he marched on in the search for global commercial domination. Due to appear at the opening of the Hamilton Supporters Association to give a few lessons on Patter and Banter, follow the progress here at the Chronical. Christopher Woodcock – 7 The bow legged one struggled to keep with the pace of more experienced bevvy merchants on the tour – but he certainly gave it a good bash! Luckily for the rest of the party he kept his ‘weapon’ concealed or else it would have been difficult for anyone else to get a look in. (It is a belter right enough) Alan Carr’s stunt double lead from the front with organisation and has to be commended for his efforts. He did however let himself down by backing down to Setanta’s demands that the Newcastle – Middlesbrough clash be moved to Monday resulting in the squad having to spend time in the pub instead. With the Wing King being the victim of a late night watering incident within the confides of room 209, with The GB Experience the main suspect, he had to act quickly as he was clearly unhappy with his damp attire for the journey home. He rectified the situation with a quick stop at the Newcastle City Centre branch of Barnardos. Fraser Buchan – 7 This man defines the word reliable. You can count on the Barlow Boy and he certainly didn’t disappoint. Falling asleep in several taxis; fall asleep in the weirdest positions possible, fall asleep in a club standing up while still holding what remains of a vodka lemonade. It was predicted it would happen, and reliably it did. When he was awake The GB Experience ran amok. He nearly wrecked KFC when the toy he was given from his kiddie’s meal he had already collected on a previous visit. When confronting the extremely helpful, understanding, most considerate chicken provider you could ever hope to meet Barlow lost the rag. KFC: How can I help you sir? GB: Um no happy henshine! KFC: Well what one are you then? Ian Paterson – 7 Not a performance of the usual magnitude from the setter of The ICC Drinking Standards Order. This may be just down to the circumstance as the trip coincided with the new outdoor bowling season which traditionally is celebrated with ‘a right good swally.’ This is something that the Bold Patto takes extremely seriously and has even been appointed ‘* Skip ’ of the regional 4’s Under 45’s, an accolade not to be taken lightly. The most celebrated Gaffer in ICC history was looking a little worse for wear on Sunday afternoon and even missed Nicklas Bendtner’s consolation strike for Arsenal against Chelsea as he was catching up with some much needed little bo peep while slouched in a chair. Still, Patto kept up his tradition and certainly brought home the bacon with Hector one to the individuals to suffer as the access to his room was limited due to spacing issues with Patto’s most recent conquest. Note: Skip * is the term used to booze consummation in one go, as in he could empty one, nothing to do with being in charge of the team. Alistair McLeman – 7 The Wookie special was out in force and brought the good name of the GSG to Newcastle with good effect. Was little more than a muttering mess late Saturday night and early Sunday morning but still carried on regardless. Ally is now ready to dedicate the rest of his life to The Steve Davis Foundation (The Rangers midfielder, not the Snooker player) following his strike against Old Firm rivals Celtic. This completed a memorable day for the ICC stopper who had only hours earlier on the dance floor of Tiger Tiger given the best air guitar display to an Oasis track the world has ever seen. * The GSG (Ginger Support Group) contacted The Chronical first thing Monday morning to register their delight with Alistair and his chanting, wrestling moves and general randomness, with full appreciation of developing Gingerness in the modern world * Bing Bong – BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Alasdair Lindsay – 6 Was overshadowed this trip as the mantle of being chief champagne source was dramatically snatched from him. Danced as though the hairs on his bum were tied together and claims of notching on 3 separate occasions on Saturday evening were quickly rubbished by other members of the touring squad with only 1 confirmed sighting. Combined with talking complete gash with the taxi driver en route back to base, the powerful forward will need to respond quickly to re-establish himself as one of the chief social animals in the ICC ranks. He could start with a having the previously promised ICC social event as his plush Bellshill residence. The Chronical will report on developments. James Wilson – 6 Rhino’s hopes of a wild one were quickly quashed when the room announcements were made. The ruthless enforcer used the opportunity to further enhance his ICC prospects and now seems certain to win goal of the season and the vice captaincy for next season. Was encouraged to the dance the night away on Saturday evening but looked uncomfortable with the idea as there was insufficient room to manoeuvre into a slide challenge should the occasion require such actions. A connoisseur of KFC, the destroyer was seen on 3 separate occasions looking for a bargain bucket. He was disappointed however in his favourite fast food outlet on his third visit. ‘This chicken’s foul’ insisted the destroyer. Good one Jim. Craig Gibson – 6 A quiet debut on tour from the committed defender, allowing more of the idiotic members of the party to come to the fore. Came into his own during the post old film terrible 80’s films discussion where his knowledge of such was rather impressive. Some good impressions and views aired and will be happy to have come through this experience relatively unscathed. Managed to score himself 40 sheets for choosing Davis as the first scorer in the Old Firm clash and was clearly delighted with the success. He used the winnings wisely by purchasing a round of shots for the lads in The Long Bar, nice gesture from the big man who’s solid yet unspectacular display brought praise from team mates and staff alike. Douglas Gould – 6 Came on the trip still obviously in Love Limbo over the recent marriage of The Goalie and offered nothing to suggest that it was now a distant memory and gave no hint that he is ready to move on to pastures new. Lumberjack shirts were all the rage with the paceman and he was clearly enthralled at the amount of male company available. Low profile from Douglas who has dominated the headlines in recent publications of the Chronical but could yet stamp his masculinity all over the ICC proceedings with the P.O.T.Y bash still to come. Maybe the dishy Norwegian blonde could be on his arm come awards time? David Thomson – 5 Very poor showing from the current top goal scorer who was clearly still recovering from the effects of swine flu. Kept quiet for the large part and only seemed to cause one ruckus when over anticipating a photo opportunity with a Geordie Beauty. She clearly was unhappy with the star strikers movement within the (her) box with the starlet insisting ‘It was only my wallet in my pocket.’ One spring from the top of the dressing table in room 209 was one highlight from DT Junior during the wrestling chaos but must up the ante on the social scene to regain the prowess once shown. David Weir – 5 Was distraught with the Flymo antics of ‘Basher’ Connell late Friday night and that seemed to dent the big man’s confidence. Lacked the passion of a previous ICC jolly held recently at top Shawlands Nightspot The Bill & Ted. Still struggling with a recent Tisney complaint perhaps this contributed to the lack of action from the ICC’s answer to Kirk Broadfoot. Was left unhappy on platform 4 with room mate Ally Lindsay while awaiting the train home who had cleverly hid a copy of the bible in his holdall. His reaction lead to a public display of dismay and had to be restrained from opening a can of whoop on the target man there and then. John Lessells – 5 Another who had a quiet time of it, clearly his confidence while on tour had taken a beating after the Patto Scandal while in Dublin. Seemed to be attracting the advances of the mild mannered Dougie Gee but resisted temptation to try something a little more conventional and decided to hedge his bets on the Tim Henman look-alike angle. Although clearly impressing a BTM with that size of his hands no moves were made and the stopper left the scene like his beloved Dunfermline, empty handed while on the brink of something great. As the saying goes, I’d rather be a lifer than a fifer. Brian Bovell – 4 The Ex ICC utility man came with a big reputation and left with exactly the opposite, a disappointing showing the Erskine Smoothie. Whether the power was lost with the suit jacket remaining firmly in the bag, Woodcock’s public display of dismay regarding the thumb ring or just his recent relationship developments, he offered nothing to suggest that the too cool for school attitude was simply myth. Refusal to perform the 10 press ups as punishment for the mine game coupled with arrival through the front door of the Boanpartes Watering Hole in Central rather than a balcony only disappointed the legions of ladies cueing up to catch a glimpse of football’s answer to the Milk Tray Man. So, there you have it sports fans. All the big exclusives here first straight for the heart of ICC and the superstars contained within. As the sun sets on yet another chapter in ICC History, much like Kriss Akabussi laying down next to his latest conquest after the opening of a new JJB and much physical contact, whispering ‘Awooga’ in her ear and patting her on the Shareen, stayed tuned for the developments as the season draws to a close. Until next time Sports Fans, keep in touch with yourself and each other. TALKIN ABOOT!



		ICC Football Club
		Strathclyde Saturday Morning AFL - Division 3 Champions 2008/2009